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Why? That is the question so many people asked – not just friends and colleagues, but Indians too. They were all baffled. Why would someone with a home, business and family leave everything behind to move to India?
To be quite honest, I didn’t understand it myself. I had been very curious about the subcontinent since my 20s, reading everything I could get my hands on. I dreamt about visiting India for decades but was 52 when my feet first touched Indian soil. And that was it.
The sense of being where I was meant to be was overwhelming. I have often said Mother India wrapped her great arms around me and wouldn’t let me go. It felt as though I was not in control, that an unknown force, or karma, had taken over.
That first trip lasted 3 weeks and I returned to Canada. Inside I was overjoyed, brimming with every emotion possible. As elated as I was, I begun to experience extreme difficulty concentrating on my life and obligations in Canada. My real estate business, which had been thriving, tanked. I was in a serious personal relationship and that also fell apart. It felt like I was walking around in a fog.
The pull to be in India was so strong, I returned 6 times in 18 months. My trips to India became fraught with extreme emotions – joy to be there coupled with devastation knowing I would have to leave. Eventually it dawned on me I should move. There was nothing courageous about it, there were no deliberations. I felt the decision had been there the whole time, waiting for me to find of it.
Back in Canada I wound down my business, sold or donated everything I had spent 30 years accumulating, got on a plane and moved into an apartment in west Delhi. It’s something I have never regretted or second guessed.
I’ve never understood what happened to me, the sweeping call to be in India, but I believe in fate and a higher power. Sometimes you have to accept the unknown as the answer, and trust everything will turn out as it’s meant.
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